Examples and How to Recognize and Help

Betrayal is such an impactful event that can leave lasting and painful scars on your heart and spirit. What you don’t often realize is how much (and how often) you do this to yourself.  When you’re self-betraying, you don’t love and accept yourself for who you are. You betray yourself in all kinds of ways – hurting yourself consciously and in other sub-conscious ways you may not even notice (as you’re doing them). When doing so, you forget about self-compassion and self-forgiveness. 

Some examples of self-betrayal may be:

• Apologizing for things that aren’t your fault
• Showing loyalty to others over yourself
• Not giving yourself permission to show up as you are
• Not speaking up for your needs
• Crossing your own boundaries
• Making yourself small over others
• Not valuing or investing in the relationship with who you are
• Not recognizing your own worth
• Disrespecting yourself with your own words and actions

Ways to help recognize if you’re doing this and how to help:

1. Try giving yourself at least 5 minutes every day to write what comes to your heart (even if it sounds like rubbish or is incoherent)
2. Start paying attention to how many times you do or say things based on what someone else might think of you
3. Pay attention if you catch yourself being so hyper-aware that you are constantly anticipating what others will say or do
4. Practice, practice, practice giving voice to your heart’s truth
5. Love whatever blooms. Don’t abandon it.  It’s you. 

To the last point above, everyone blooms in different ways – with different strengths and weaknesses, with different approaches.  But if all “bloomed” with love – for yourself and others and whatever arises in the process – you will be practicing the compassion needed in your life and the world around you. 

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