In the season of trick-or-treat and costumes, it makes me think of the “masks” people put on to cover things up – whether emotionally or physically; to hide behind; to lead others to believe you’re something or someone different than you really are (or want to be); to blend in; to protect your vulnerabilities. In a world that often demands conformity and performance, these masks can shape how you interact with others and how you perceive yourself.

The masks you wear can be seen as defense mechanisms. According to renowned psychologist Erving Goffman, life is like a theater, where individuals play roles depending on their audience. That, in social situations, we present curated versions of ourselves, often concealing our true feelings and thoughts to fit societal expectations. This can lead to a phenomenon known as “impression management,” where people consciously alter their behavior to influence how they are perceived.

In a quote by Oscar Wilde, an Irish poet, “man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, he will tell you the truth.” While masks can offer protection and facilitate social interactions, they also come with significant emotional costs. Prolonged masking can lead to feelings of disconnection, anxiety, and even depression. The pressure to maintain a façade can create a sense of inauthenticity, eroding self-esteem and genuine relationships.

Depending on the situation, there can be different types of masks:

1. The Professional Mask: In workplaces, individuals often adopt a persona that emphasizes competence, authority, and professionalism. This can lead to feelings of disconnect, especially if one’s true self is more casual or creative.
2. The Social Mask: In social gatherings, people may wear a mask to appear more sociable or to align with group norms. This often involves suppressing one’s true opinions or interests to foster acceptance.
3. The Emotional Mask: Many individuals mask their emotions—hiding sadness behind a smile or projecting confidence even when feeling insecure. This emotional façade can be a protective barrier against vulnerability but can also lead to isolation.
4. The Cultural Mask: Cultural expectations can dictate how we present ourselves. This can manifest in language, dress, and behavior, often leading individuals to feel torn between their authentic selves and societal norms.

In opposition of this, the quest for authenticity.  This quest often involves peeling away these layers to reveal your true self. This journey requires courage and self-reflection. Here are some steps you can take:

1. Self-Reflection: Understanding why you wear certain masks can illuminate your motivations and fears. Journaling or meditative practices can aid in this exploration.
2. Gradual Exposure: Start by sharing small, authentic aspects of yourself with trusted friends or family. This can help build confidence in being vulnerable.
3. Mindfulness: Practicing mindfulness can help you recognize when you are slipping into a mask and encourages you to stay present and authentic in your interactions.
4. Creating Safe Spaces: Cultivating environments where authenticity is valued can empower you to drop your masks. This includes seeking out supportive communities and relationships.

The masks you wear can serve important functions in your life, aiding in social navigation and self-protection. However, it is essential to recognize when these masks hinder genuine connections and personal growth. Embracing authenticity not only enriches your life, but also fosters deeper relationships with others, paving the way for a more honest and fulfilling existence. In a world that often encourages “perfection” or performance, dare to show your true self – all of the real and genuine you, not a curated version.

If you are in a circle of humans who do not love and accept this true version of you; perhaps they’re not your humans after all. That choice is theirs, not yours….and it starts with you being kind to, raw, and authentic with yourself and loving yourself first. Accepting yourself, being willing to work on the areas in which you could improve (we all have them), and being vulnerable with yourself enough to be vulnerable with others. How others perceive you is not yours to decide (or give your worries to), how you view yourself and offer yourself to the world is. Choose authenticity, not a mask…and surround yourself with others who are willing to do the same.

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