In personal relationships and professional settings bridges can be burned, making it nearly impossible to recover from or repair. This can have many lasting impacts. Personally, it can strain other relationships, impact mental and emotional health, and make healing difficult. In professional life it can damage reputations, make future collaborations difficult, or even reduce further career opportunities. 

I recently listened to a podcast interview with entrepreneur, investor, and “Shark,” Robert Herjavec who, when referencing important lessons he learned early in his work-life, said that you should not burn bridges, but build them.  There were so many take-aways from this podcast, but this one settled in a bit differently.

I often talk about mindful living – for well-being, healthier relationships, and so much more. The idea of taking this common expression and flipping it to building bridges is beautiful. Building bridges in relationships is a mindful effort of fostering understanding, trust, and communication. It involves making the effort to connect with others in a meaningful and supportive way.

Some key components of building bridges in relationships include:

1. Active Listening – Really listen to what the other person is saying, give them your full attention and show that you value their input, without interrupting or thinking about your response while they speak. This is one of the most important aspects of collaboration and shows that you value their thoughts and feelings, builds trust, and ensures that everyone feels heard.
2. Empathy – Try to understand the other person’s perspective, emotions, and experiences. Empathy helps create a deeper connection and allows you to relate to other’s struggles or joys.
3. Honesty and Transparency – Open and honest communication builds trust. Being transparent about your feelings and thoughts allows the other person to know where you stand and vice versa. Likewise, if you’re unsure about something or need clarification, ask. Clear communication prevents misunderstandings and keeps everyone on the same page. In addition, be open to receiving constructive criticism and take it as an opportunity to improve. Likewise, offer feedback thoughtfully and in a way that encourages improvement without discouraging others.
4. Respect and Appreciation – Show respect for each other’s differences and unique qualities. Take the time to appreciate the small things they do, making them feel valued. Acknowledging different perspectives and showing appreciation and kindness goes a long way.
5. Compromise and Flexibility – In any relationship disagreements are inevitable. Being open to compromise and finding solutions that work for both of you strengthens your bond.
6. Spending Quality Time Together – Shared experiences, spending time together, doing activities you both enjoy, or simply having meaningful conversations strengthens an emotional connection.
7. Forgiveness and Patience – Mistakes happen, and building bridges involves forgiving when necessary and being patient with each other. Understanding that nobody is perfect is key to moving forward.
8. Creating Shared Goals – Having common goals or aspirations brings people together. Whether it’s personal growth, professional ambitions, or shared adventures, working toward a common purpose strengthens bonds.

Particularly in work settings:

1. Share Responsibility and Credit – Collaborating effectively means that success is shared. Acknowledge others’ contributions and avoid claiming sole credit for group achievements. This builds trust and encourages further cooperation.
2. Understand Strengths and Weaknesses – Get to know the strengths and weaknesses of others. Play to each person’s strengths and offer support when someone is struggling. Working to each person’s strengths leads to more productive and positive outcomes.
3. Adapt to Different Styles – Everyone has a different way of approaching work. Be flexible and willing to adapt your style to complement others’ ways of working. Whether someone is more detail-oriented or big-picture focused, respecting these differences can improve collaboration.
4. Be Proactive – Take initiative when needed. Don’t wait for things to be assigned to you – offer your help, anticipate needs, and be proactive in moving projects forward. This shows that you are invested in the success of the team.
5. Create a Positive and Inclusive Environment – Promote an environment where everyone feels comfortable sharing their ideas and opinions. A sense of inclusivity and safety in a group will encourage people to contribute more freely and be more invested in the outcome.
6. Stay Solution-Oriented – In any collaborative effort, problems are bound to arise. The key is to stay focused on finding solutions rather than assigning blame. A positive, solution-oriented mindset helps resolve issues more quickly and keeps the team moving forward.
7. Build Trust Over Time – Trust is essential for successful collaboration. Follow through on your promises, be reliable, and be consistent in your behavior. Trust is built, so be patient and consistent in your actions.
8. Celebrate Successes Together – When the team achieves a milestone or completes a project, celebrate together. Recognition and celebration boost morale and reinforce the sense of community within the team.

Building bridges gives a greater understanding of and opportunity for true human collaboration. Of connecting with others – even those who may be different from you or have varying opinions from yours. Of understanding different characteristics and building deeper relationships. When you are struggling with others or feeling lonely, consider the idea of building vs. burning. Pause and notice your role, and what you can do moving forward to help the building process. 

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