This may be one of our deeper topics on the Blog – your happiness vs. others.  To start, I would like to you ask yourself three (maybe difficult) questions:

• Do I seek happiness by keeping others happy?
• Is my happiness determined by others and what they want for me (or think makes me happy), verses what I want for myself (or what I know to make me happy)?
• Do I rely on others to keep (or make) me happy?

It is human nature to question whether it is “right or wrong” to prioritize your own happiness, which is a subjective experience, over that of others.  It can be complicated and complex in day-to-day life.  It is important to recognize it is not selfish to think of your own happiness, nor is it healthy for you to make decisions for the happiness of another at the risk of disregarding your own.

Keeping empathy and compassion for others at the forefront is important to maintaining healthy relationships and healthy relationships will also keep you fulfilled. However, doing so with healthy boundaries is beneficial. If you are not disregarding or harming others in the process, healthy boundaries are an essential mix of prioritizing your own health and needs and keeping healthy relationships with others. 

Relationships go two-ways – a balance between giving and receiving support. Taking care of yourself can help you be better to take care of others. This is in day-to-day living.  If an emergency arises and a family member or friend needs you, this may change. Likewise, if someone in your life is the person who has caused you trauma, this may change. However, in day-to-day life, prioritizing your own health and happiness is not selfish – it can even be necessity to continue to be a better human (and maybe even caretaker) to others.

Have a balance of kindness toward others and kindness toward yourself.  Taking care of your own happiness will better equip you to help contribute to the happiness of others.  However, ultimately, you only have control over your own mindset and decisions. The happiness of others is not yours to dictate.  Likewise, it is not the responsibility of another to control your happiness.

It is also important to take a hard look at the fact that, if you look for happiness around you, in other people, things, etc. it will be short-lived.  Relying on others and/or the material world is fleeting and misguided. This can lead to an ongoing cycle and battle of discontentment and disappointment.  True happiness comes from within, from finding a true inner peace and sense of contentment.  When “things” and people come and go, but you have happiness within yourself, you may still feel disappointment or moments of sadness.  You will still have bad days – happiness isn’t a storybook or a constant world of “skipping through sunflowers.” But you will know deeply within that things will work out and be fine in the end. People and things in your life don’t hold the power over you.  You are complete – from the inside.

There are several tips and habits to help you find happiness within yourself that I use and offer when I work with clients. Please email me at **@li***********************.com if you would like to set up a time to dive deeper into this….together.

Each week we try to correlate these Blog Posts with our weekly newsletter.  If you haven’t yet, enter your first name, email and click “yes, please” in the black box within the main Blog Page of this website to have these drop into your inbox weekly. In each you will also get a helpful Mindful Minute – this week, “Play a Game”.

For additional tips on mindful living and topics like this, follow me @livinghealthyin5fields on social media.